Storybook Comment Wall

Here is a link to my Storybook!

Here's the picture I'm using for my Storybook Banner!

Comments

  1. Hi Reid! Your concept sounds super interesting and I'm excited to read it! I think that it's cool that you basically chose to turn everything that we know about Ravana from the Ramayana and turn it on its head. I've always been interested to explore more about Ravana's character and understand his motivations since he was painted as a stereotypical villain in the Ramayana. He's painted as an evil and selfish man obsessed with power and control, but his characterization seemed very superficial in the stories. I'm interested to see how you develop Ravana's characters and craft his world in these alternate realities. The one that I'm interested in is if Sita gave in to Ravana;s beckonings. Would their relationship change over time and change the dynamic with his other wives? Would it cause tension? Would Rama continue to fight for Sita? I think there are a lot of questions and options to explore in your alternate realities and I can't wait to read all about them! Good luck with your storybook!

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  2. I love your photo choice for the banner, but I think that you could include more photos to your intro. I also think if you broke up your intro into multiple paragraphs with photos people would be even more intrigued with your story. I really like you are putting a complete twist on the story. I love villain stories. It is not a frequent as a protagonist story. I like you added a link to your inspiration. There are a lot of Disney stories that were release that are about if the villains won and your story sounds very similar. It is such a great approach to storytelling. It is like parallel universes. I like how you cited the banner image as well. I am going to steal how you did it.

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  3. Hi Reid,

    I like your concept in changing the history of the Ramayana to reflect what would happen if Ravana would have won some battles or if things would have gone differently. There is a common saying that history is written in the perspective of the victor and I think that changing what happens is a good way to make the story more neutral. I also like the link that is included as it gives the reader a little more information about what you are going off of and how that sect of religion might see this story and think it is false than how you are telling it. I think one good thing to do as you go forward into actually writing the stories is to make sure that you specify what you change and it impacts the story. Some people that are reading this for the first time might not know the differences between the two stories.

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  4. Hello Reid,

    Wow, what a creative premise! I am really excited to see where you are going to go with this storybook! Content wise, I do not have any criticisms; I think you clearly know what you're doing for your project. My only suggestion for improving the introduction is to check some of the grammar that you used. Some of the sentences, such as "In the Public Domain Edition of the Ramayana, Ravana is the wife-kidnapping, attempter of murder, overall bad guy.", is kind of awkward to read. Also "While these stories may not line up with how we expect characters to act, this acts as a way to toy with the idea of how the world would be in different outcomes where Ravana is victorious." was kind of awkward to read too; while I think I understood what you were trying to say, I think it could be written in a way that makes it easier to understand. Other than that though, the introduction is great! The way you set it up is very suspenseful and makes me want to know more of what is going on! I hope my suggestions helped and good luck with your project.

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  5. Hey Reid! Your plan for this project sounds very intriguing and creative. The idea of making Ravana who was originally the villain into the winner and main character is exciting. It reminds me of the movie that just came out about the Joker. He was the villain for so many years in all the Batman movies but now we got to see his origin story and the audience was rooting for him and he ends up winning at the end of the movie. I have not been able to read this story yet as I switched into this class just a week ago but now I want to read it before I read yours so I can see all the changes that you make. I will definitely be returning to your project several times throughout the semester to keep reading the changes you make to the story as I always love a good villain story.

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  6. Hey Reid,

    I really enjoyed your layout for storybook a lot. Even though your introduction was short, I felt like it got the point across many times about what we are going to be reading about. One thing I wondered about is what story are you going to focus on for yours. Will all the stories intersect and connect to each other eventually or will they be their own separate entity. I think it is real intriguing to have the villain of most Indian stories become the hero. This will give us a better look at who the character is because as we know, people are villainous sometimes have a good side to them hidden deep. I also think if you let us know what a Rakshasas is that would be helpful. Overall, I think that your storybook shows great promise and I cannot wait to read the ones you start to add.

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  7. Reid,

    I like the idea of your project. I'm excited to see where your project goes.
    However, I'm a little skeptical to see how you write stories that diverge from the Ramayana very early. If Rama had simply returned home when Bharata had asked, what would be the point of looking at Ravana at all? I'm not sure that would matter. So be careful when choosing the point in the story at which you begin to write your own work.
    Beyond this, take a look at your grammar. You have a sentence or two where your verbs don't line up or you have a sentence structure that makes your idea difficult to understand. For example "attempter of murder" is a VERY weird phrase.
    I think you could also re-order the first paragraph to make your ideas stronger. I think it would be better if you explain who Ravana is before you say that he's a rakshasa that comes in all shapes and sizes.
    This is a pretty good start! Good luck with the rest of your project.

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  8. Howdy Reid,
    Hope all is well. Also, wild that you’re in this class as well, we’ll need to catch up sometime soon – been a while since Freshman year. I think your project is going to be super interesting, it’s not often we get to explore the side of the antagonist from a different perspective. The celebration of Ravana is interesting to me, as the Ramayana paints him pretty clearly as a bad dude, so it is interesting reading about other ideologies there. It is also always interesting to me reading about cultural intersections, so the belief that Ravana was killed by Aryan invaders is wild to me, thanks for citing that source. It’s always interesting considering alternative outcomes, especially in things that seem so one-sided. I am pretty excited looking forward to check in on your storybook; the collection of varied endings is awesome, plus it’s extra fun considering this is a break from your major.
    All the best, Ben

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  9. Reid! First off I would like to compliment you on the design of the website itself and the wonderful images you used as your cover pages. It's simple, classic, and accurately depicted using the aesthetics of the Ramayana with such traditional artwork. That being said, it also matches your style of writing. One of the best aspects about the reading, to me, was how you approached it with a more formal tone as compared to many stories that I've read within this class. It was almost like reading from the book! I'm sure that anyone who has not read the outcome of the battle that you had written, would be perfectly fooled as to the outcome of the battle. Something I would add, though, is that I think there should be more details as to the battle itself. You've built yourself a solid base in terms of the backstory for the readers, and I think that an equal depiction of the main story itself would benefit from the details! Overall, I think the story you wrote was a good example as to what an alternate ending would be to its tee. Good work; I can't wait to read more from you!

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  10. Hi Reid! Your storybook design has a nice, clean layout and I appreciate it. I think you did a fabulous job with the background in your introduction page. Even as someone who has read the stories, I was a bit rusty on what happens (or just too tired to remember). Your synopsis was a perfect combination of enough information to understand, but not enough to give away key plot points in your story. Your basis for your project is a wonderful idea! I've always loved the idea of alternate timelines based on a seemingly inconsequential choice. It's always so interesting to see the ripple effect a single point in time can have. Your first story was a great way to start out! I especially thought that the rakshasa copying Sita's scream was an interesting tactic to lure Rama to Ravana to meet his demise. It'd be interesting to see how the god's respond to their "mortal delegate" of sorts being defeated. Would Vishnu be reborn into a second avatar?

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  11. I love that your home page has text! So many home pages don’t have any words and as readers we don’t know what to expect when it comes to the story. It could be a little longer. You could tell us how you chose your topic. I think your layout is great. It is very clean. I love your photo choice as well on your home page. I love that all of your photos go together like there is a common theme which is great! Saying “quiet literally” in your intro was funny. It was some unexpected humor which is nice. I love that you are allowing the villians point of view. That is awesome. I am a huge Disney fan and love the villians and would love more stories like maleficent! The story King Rama was good but you could add some specific details to really add more life to the story and let us the reader know their world and give them a bit more personality. (I wrote this and forgot I had read your page before lol)

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  12. Hey Reid!

    I love your storybook so far! I really like that I get to learn more about Ravana as I feel like I do not know too much about him. I am glad that you've made him the protagonist, this gives us his point of you and I am excited to see how you change the story from here on out. I am glad you're going off the beaten path and making it your own because so many people just retell stories and not even in a creative way!

    Honestly I think your storybook is coming along really well and I am excited to keep up with you and it. Maybe just some grammar and punctuation things but besides that keep up the great work and enjoy the rest of your semester. Also stay healthy and safe!

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  13. Reid,
    I really like the main theme of your project and focusing on Ravana as the good guy. I think it is a fun idea to explore what would happen if circumstances and outcomes were different. I really enjoyed your first story! The simplicity of your website's layout along with your clear, descriptive writing is very fitting. I like that in your author's note, you shared with us what made you choose Hanuman as the character Rama never meets. Not only did it show us how a small change in a story can change the outcome, but it also kind of showed how each character plays a vital role in the original Ramayana. I really liked what you did the with second story. Not only did you show another side of Ravana, but also of Sita. You almost gave Sita an empowering personality that we did not see in the original story which I thought was super creative. Overall, I really like what you are doing with your project and I can't wait to read more of your creative stories!

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  14. Hello Reid,
    I just had the chance to look and read through your project. I definitely enjoyed your change of perspective trick to take on the stories with a breath of fresh air. Overall, the stories and theme were creative and fun.
    I was focusing on the author's notes for feedback and thought you've done a good job so far of explaining the change of perspective and other changes in the story you might have made. I was fairly familiar with all the stories you were riffing on since they were such a focus in the first half of the class, but if I weren't, it may have been slightly harder to follow. You might consider adding a short summary of the original story somewhere in your note. It is something I had to do on a few of mine since often I was dramatically changing the setting or theme of the story. Since your stories are so closely based off the original, with the main focus being a change of perspective of sorts, it may not be as necessary as it was in some of mine.
    Thanks for sharing your creative side with us, I really enjoyed your take on the familiar tales.

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  15. Hello Reid,

    I definitely enjoyed your spin on, “King Rama.” Them not being able to be saved by the monkey jumping to their rescue is huge in this story, so for you to take that away is very well played. Leaving them unaware of the magic? Great idea!! (lol) Could you imagine just been in a war with someone, then bam, check out my powers! Your story was a very fun read from beginning to end and I really liked all the changes you made during it. In your second story with Ravana and Sita, you did a whole different spin on it as well. Everyone likes to hear a story told in a whole different way because everyone imagines a story playing out different then how it is originally told. You have done a great job being able to do this and keep a lot of interest in it. Keep it up!

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  16. Hi Reid!

    When I finished reading your King Rama story, my mouth was open. I was so shocked the read that the bad guy actually won in an Indian epic which goes to show it doesn’t happen often. I enjoyed the fact that you wanted to do a 180 on the ending; I respect that because it brings up the question of “what if?” To every story, fictional or real, there’s always the question of what if? What if Martin Luther King didn’t stand up against racism? Or what if the Nazi’s actually took over the world? I think its always important to consider alternative endings. Its also important to be grateful for the happy endings. What’s funny is that the entire time I was reading the story, I kept rooting for Rama to win. I’m not sure about others, but I always feel for the under dog and I want them to succeed. Oddly enough, in the original story, Rama is depicted as powerful and humble person. Each problem or fight he faced, he was successful. What was great about your story is that you made Rama, who was depicted as invincible, be weak and mountable. Maybe I’m looking to deep into it but one other aspect that I greatly enjoyed about your story was what you said in your author’s note. In your story, Rama didn’t meet all those people that helped make him stronger or give him the celestial weapons. I’m not sure if you were going for a deeper meaning, but your story can be applied to the real world. People that we meet during our lives make us. We learn from others. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. A goal isn’t achieved by the person themselves but by all the people that helped them along their journey.

    You did a great job with the story.

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  17. Hi Reid,

    I really like what you did with the change in perspective. A change in perspective can do a lot for a story. It gives you a huge change to how you can view the characters involved. I also liked your decision to make them unaware of magic. Taking a mythical story and making the characters unaware of magic is a fun idea. The only thing I would like to see is an image or something added to the storybook, it could help you create a better looking format for the book in general. The current format of just paragraphs of text on a white wall is a little monotonous. It is a smaller change to do, but it could make the story more fun to read visually.

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  18. Hi Reid,

    I really enjoyed how you chose a very unique perspective on your whole storybook and focused on what could have been by changing some of the outcomes. It is kinda interesting to think how one change can have such a ripple effect. I also enjoyed your focus solely on Ravana. I think Ravana has so much depth that he was a perfect character to dive into. I read your version of "Ravana Wins Sita" and found it to have a lot of depth. Even though your focus was Ravana, Sita still had so much power and I love that she found that herself and not solely from a guy. I enjoyed the inner dialogue you included while Sita was pondering her different choices and wondering if she made the right one, even in the end, after betraying Rama. Overall, I really enjoyed your storybook topic and your writing.

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  19. Hi Reid! I love the idea of your storybook! Painting Ravana in a positive light is no simple task, so I think that even trying to attempt is commendable! I am a big belive that perspective is what matters, so I think trying to consider Ravana's perspective may be important to see why he did the things he did. You have definitely done a great job of being creative with your writing. I think it's so cool that Sita kills Rama and actually ends up with Ravana at the end. That is way different than the actual story!! I think one suggestion I would have is to add a couple of images inside your stories. Right now there is a lot of block text and since you don't have dialogue, it makes it a little hard for your reader to follow. I think adding images can help break the text and be easier for your reader's eyes to follow. Overall, I think you’ve done a great job!!

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